This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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