On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize