peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
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Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
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She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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