Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize