I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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