good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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