Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize