theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize