No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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