can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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