i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
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Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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