idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
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Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize