You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize