Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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