The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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