My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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