I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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