bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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