Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize