dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize