what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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