Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize