yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize