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• (212): View more from New York

  i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.

  (224): View more from Illinois

  it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.

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  Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism

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• (512): View more from Texas

  BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS

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• (530): View more from California

  It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.

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• (518): View more from New York

  That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing

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  Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.

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• (315): View more from New York

  In other news, I just burned my penis

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• (760): View more from California

  I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.

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• (718): View more from New York

  This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I woke up with a chicken in my yard

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?

  (443): View more from Maryland

  No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up

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