He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
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yo everyone went to the hospital last night
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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