I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
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My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
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Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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