Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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