Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
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Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
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I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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