come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize