i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize