HIV tests are more positive than that guy
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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