We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize