The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to summon your inner elephant
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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