Where is the hickey?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Michael Bay diarrhea
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize