then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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