i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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