Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
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Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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