is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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