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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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