happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize