There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize