Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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