She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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