grandma shit on top of the toilet
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize