dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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