I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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