Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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