I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize