is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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