I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
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Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
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You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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