you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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